


Falling Slowly

by rightonthelimit



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Episode: s04e04, Hurt/Comfort, Other, reaction fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-18
Updated: 2012-11-18
Packaged: 2017-11-18 23:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/566683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rightonthelimit/pseuds/rightonthelimit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine ends up on Burt's doorstep when he has nowhere left to go. Reaction fic to 4x04.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling Slowly

**A/N: Please do not repost, recreate or translate.**

**Falling Slowly**

The reason why Blaine had replied to Eli's message was because his profile picture was a lighthouse and it had inherently reminded Blaine of Kurt.

Which was stupid of course because Kurt was in New York and he rarely used Facebook, but Blaine hadn't been able to stop himself from remembering the lighthouse they were supposed to buy together when they were older. It had reminded him of his best friend and his lover, and maybe that was the real reason why he went to see Eli.

Because Blaine was lonely and he needed Kurt. And he wasn't there.

As soon as Eli's lips met Blaine's he knew that what he was doing was wrong. Eli didn't kiss Blaine the way Kurt did. Eli didn't leave Blaine chasing after his lips, he didn't leave Blaine hot and achy the way Kurt did. It was like a shock had gone through him but it hadn't been a good one.

Disgust made Blaine's stomach turn because the hypocrisy of it all struck him so hard it rendered him breathless and choked up. Blaine had been the one to chastise Kurt about flirting with Chandler, and now Blaine was the one to kiss another guy when Kurt was too busy to return his calls.

It made no sense and the fact that this was so much against everything that Blaine stood for just proved how out of it Blaine really was, without Kurt around.

As time passed and Blaine grew more guilty by the moment, he eventually told Kurt. He tried making things okay again afterwards. Blaine tried telling Kurt that he was so sorry, he tried to keep surprising Kurt with stupid gifts which of course wouldn't make everything okay. Nothing was working and he knew that now. Kurt didn't trust him anymore.

So then why was Blaine standing on the doorstep of Kurt's old home with red rimmed eyes, an empty stomach and a vacant look on his face? Blaine wasn't sure. He didn't know anything anymore, in fact, the only thing Blaine was good at right now was self-destructing and wallowing in his own pain.

The door opened before Blaine had to knock and then Kurt's dad was standing in front of him, and Blaine didn't understand why he started crying. He thought he had no tears left. Blaine honestly hadn't expected to be capable of crying anymore - that his eyes were too dry for that now. But they weren't and here Blaine stood, lonely, in pain, and suddenly with Burt's arms around him.

Blaine didn't deserve it but he couldn't help but think to himself that Burt hugged Blaine in almost the exact way Kurt did. All he could do was choke on his own sobs, press his face into Burt's neck and cling onto him. Burt was the first person who hasn't let him down so far.

'I got you, kid, I got you,' Burt murmured, his hands strong as they rubbed circles on Blaine's back. Burt always had been more of a father to Blaine than his own had been, but Blaine didn't understand why Burt wasn't yelling at him or kicking him out. He didn't understand why Burt led him in and sat him down on the couch where Kurt and Blaine had sometimes secretly made out during re-runs of America's Next Top Model, but he did know that the smell of Kurt's old home was overwhelming and almost too painful. Blaine cradled his head in his hands and cried and cried and cried, only vaguely aware of Burt's hand on his back, still rubbing him there.

There was literally nowhere Blaine could go. He'd known that this would happen - he'd known that he'd be here by himself, but up until now he had always believed he could at least cling onto the fact that he still had Kurt.

And now? Now Blaine had nothing. He kind of felt like dying right now. He felt like jumping off the highest building and swallowing dozens of pills and he wasn't being melodramatic right now if he'd were to say that even that would be too good for him.

'I can't do this,' Blaine managed to say. He rubbed at his eyes. 'I feel so bad all the time - I feel horrible, I am so sorry mister Hummel, I'm sorry for doing this to Kurt and I'm so sorry for being so weak. I love Kurt so much, and Eli reminded me of him, and I thought that I would feel less lonely if I'd pretend someone else was Kurt... But it felt so wrong. And I don't know how to fix it anymore and I feel like I'm losing my mind.'

Blaine was rambling. He was so desperate for help that no one seemed to be willing to offer him, and he didn't understand why he came looking for it here.

Blaine didn't want to hurt himself. Blaine didn't want to disappoint Kurt because he knew that even if Kurt was angry at him, he wouldn't want Blaine to do anything stupid. They've had this talk countless of times.

'Kurt is ignoring me and I deserve it. I deserve all of this because I'm a horrible person, but I'm weak, too. I wish I could be as strong as I act I am. But I'm not, because I love him so much it physically hurts. I will regret this for the rest of my life -'

'Blaine, breathe, c'mon.'

Blaine looked helplessly at Burt and decided to do just that, and realized that he actually would've  _forgotten_ to breathe if Burt hadn't reminded him to.

'I'm sorry,' Blaine insisted. He didn't know what to do with his hands, what use were they anyway if Blaine couldn't use them to make Kurt feel good? If they weren't holding Kurt's?

Burt released a long sigh and took off his cap to run a hand over his head. 

'I shouldn't have come here. You're his dad - I'm surprised you even let me in.'

'You're a mess, Blaine. I ain't going to let you go home like that, you'll get yourself killed.'

 _If I don't do it myself first_ , Blaine thought to himself. Another fresh wave of tears overcame him at that thought and he rubbed at his eyes, blinking them away. His head was throbbing in pain.

'You're the only person to care, now that Kurt's gone.' Blaine released a humorless laugh, tears still prickling in his eyes. 'I'm starting to think that it runs in the family.'

Burt fixed him with an odd look but Blaine didn't elaborate. He didn't really care if anyone would think him to be strange - he had nothing left to lose. He had become dependent of Kurt's support and presence because he'd been starved for a loving touch, just a few kind words. Kurt was like a healing balm to all of his old wounds and now that it was over between them it felt like all of his scars were torn open again.

'Kurt told me everything already. You really messed him up, kid,' Burt finally sighed. Blaine nodded meekly.

'I know,' he whispered. He'd never forget that empty look in Kurt's eyes when he dropped Blaine off at the airport, never forget the way Kurt had avoided his eyes when they finally saw each other again. 'And I'm really so-'

'Kid, say you're sorry one more time and I'll kick you out.'

'I'm so - Okay, mister Hummel.'

'It's still Burt, Blaine.'

'Oh.'

Blaine lowered his eyes and fiddled awkwardly with the hem of his shirt while Burt sighed again. Blaine flinched when Burt placed a hand on his shoulder.

'You see, Blaine - at first I was very angry at you. Kurt actually had to keep me from going to your house for a good  _conversation_. But as I got calmer I realized I wasn't mad at you, I was mad at the both of you because you both messed up something that was good.'

Blaine didn't say anything. He didn't know if he could.

'And then I realized that you are both my boys. And if he says he's hurt but still loves you, and if you show up here looking like a hot mess and start crying at the smallest things, and keep apologizing even if no one asked for it - I'm gonna believe the both of you.'

There was a hopeful thing in Blaine's chest at the mention that Kurt still loved him. It wasn't too late? Blaine took a shaky breath and nodded slowly to indicate he was listening and when he looked up he realized Burt was closer than before. He was frowning and he suddenly noticed how much Kurt looked like his father. Kurt had worn the same determined look on his face more than once before.

'You can always come here, Blaine. I won't mind, Carole won't mind, Finn won't mind. We're still your home away from home.'

'But why?' Blaine instantly asked. Burt shrugged.

'I just told you, you're both my boys and if you two ain't gonna make sure you get back together, then I will. I'm on both your sides and I don't think Kurt will forgive me if I take you with me for Christmas when you look like a trainwreck. He asked me to keep an eye out for you before he left, you know. I should've come see you before.'

'You're taking me to New York for Christmas?' Blaine asked, his eyes wide and his heart hopeful. Burt nodded and leaned back into the couch.

'For Christmas. You do have a few promises to keep, if I remember right,' Burt affirmed. He sounded quite pleased with himself and Blaine managed a watery smile. Christmas has always been his and Kurt's thing. He wondered if Kurt had shown his father the gumwrapper ring Blaine had made him last Christmas. He wondered if Kurt had told Burt what Blaine had promised to him. The very thought made his cheeks flush.

Burt hummed and their eyes met. It dawned in on Blaine how much he really loved Burt and he didn't know why he hadn't come earlier.

'That's better. You look way too old when you're miserable.'

Burt patted Blaine's thigh and got up to switch the tv on.

'Carole and Finn are out tonight, so you and I are gonna watch the game tonight, Blaine. I need someone to discuss the game with afterward after all.'

Blaine didn't know if Burt knew what this meant to him. He didn't know what Burt intended on doing to get Blaine and Kurt back together, but to finally have someone there to listen to him when Blaine needed it most...

Blaine rubbed at his eyes again and settled back into the couch, his fingers absentmindedly tracing its fabric and remembering what it felt like on his naked back with an equally half-naked Kurt on top of him. For the first time in weeks he felt something achingly similar to hope in his chest and he was surprised at how warm it made him feel.

And if he fell asleep only 10 minutes after the game had started with his head on Burt's shoulder, Burt didn't mention it. He just woke Blaine up after the game and let him sleep in Kurt's old bed.

Everything was going to be okay. Tomorrow would be another day, and if Kurt wouldn't reply to his texts or calls, then Blaine would try again the day afterward. Kurt still loved Blaine and that was reason enough for Blaine to keep hanging on no matter how hurt he was.


End file.
